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How many things do we forfeit out of a fear of failure, feelings of inadequacy, or a twisted identity?
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Are we so afraid of failing that we don't even try? Do we question the gifts God has given us as sufficient to fulfill God's good plans for us? Where is our identity forged -- through the voices of the world around us or the truths of who we are in Christ?
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This has been a struggle in my life. Perhaps it's been for you too.
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I have always been drawn to ministry and writing. I love talking about and teaching the Bible. I love writing about all the things I am learning as I spend time seeking the knowledge and wisdom of God through Scripture and prayer. Since the age of 14, I have dreamt about writing and publishing helpful resources for other believers, especially young women who are battling many of the same things I have. But, as a female, "lay" church member, finding ways to use it hasn't always been easy.
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Entering the Christian world of publishing/influencers has also been difficult to navigate. It's often about who you know, how many followers you have, and whether your message is "on brand." Are you from a big church? Does your church endorse your work? How many connections do you have with "big-name" pastors/churches? How much money can you spend? How much can you use social media and travel to promote your work? Are you a part of our private (paying) groups?
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While I get the business side of things, and the need to be profitable from our work, I began to let these ideals shape the way I viewed myself. I have allowed these expectations to become the expectation of God, which is not true. They left me chasing things God never asked of me -- which always leads to weary frustration of the soul.
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Throughout my life, I have often been told, "You clearly have a deep love for the Lord, but..." From a young girl trying out for a church quartet to a 50-year-old woman trying to serve with the gifts God has given, this phrase has often been the segue to being turned down for certain roles. I didn't have enough stage presence...I wasn't outgoing enough...my voice wasn't dynamic...my writing was too "deep"...I didn't have "the look"....I didn't have enough connections...I couldn't say "these things", even though they are the truth...on, and on, it has gone...and those voices have echoed through my mind so loudly at times that I pulled back from ways I knew God wanted to use me. However imperfectly it was. When I was younger, it made me question whether genuineness mattered at all.
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To combat these feelings of inadequacy, I think of the people in Scripture who stuttered (Moses), had bad reputations (Rahab), were socially on the fringes (John the Baptist), and had no formal religious training (some disciples), yet they were greatly used by God. Man looks at the outward appearance, but God looks at the heart (1 Samuel 16:7).
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While I do believe we should learn, grow, and work hard for the glory of God, I don't think God requires us to be so polished before He will use us. We have never fully arrived, nor will we be acceptable to all people. It's the Spirit working through us that produces results in the lives of those we minister to. It's God's power, not our charisma that changes lives.
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This quote from Mary Marantz challenged me in this area: "If you actually loved yourself -- or acted like you were beloved by the Creator of the Universe, how would your work change? What would your creations you put into the world change?"
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Our inner critics can guilt us into getting things done, but what if we lived in the freedom and unique giftings of God? What if we served out of pure devotion?
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What if we silenced the lies our minds entertain --- often spoken into our lives by others, but then fueled by our Enemy to hinder our work?
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I have learned to keep writing even when I fail (in my mind, anyway)…even when rejection happens...even when someone criticizes it unfairly. God has been good to confirm my gifts through many other Christian ministries that have published my work. So, I tell my inner critic to hush and keep on typing. :) My ministry may always be small, but that doesn't make it insignificant in the kingdom of God. Faith pleases God.
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Based on Philippians 4:8, we can silence our inner critics with these two questions:
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1. What is lovely, true, right, honorable, and of good report about my circumstance?
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2. How do I make it so if it is not any of these things? This requires naming the lies and finding out what lovely, right, true, or honorable thing needs to replace them.
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An example: Is writing spiritually encouraging articles, devotions, and books a lovely, honorable, good thing? Does it point to Christ and honor God? Are my motives in the right place? If yes, then it's worthy work. If not, why am I lacking peace and joy in serving Christ? What is hindering me from creating good work? Is my family being neglected in pursuit of my "dreams"? Am I discontent with the fruit God has provided? We can walk through many questions depending on our individual situations, but you can see the process. Sometimes, it's not the right season even though it's honorable work.
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What do you need to keep pursuing -- for God's glory -- that your inner critic has gained victory over? What fears are driving you to strive in vain? What inadequacies are stealing your rest and joy in Christ?
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Let's desire to use our gifts despite the negative voices bombarding our thoughts. Let's not squander our Spirit-derived gifts, but begin fighting back with truth and believing God has equipped and graced us with parts of Himself to be reflected out to a world that needs Him so desperately. There will ALWAYS be naysayers but God will use us and open doors that no man can shut when we humbly desire His glory.
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A Favor to Ask
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I am working on a project and would like to insert some of my readers responses to these two questions on grace. If you don't want your name listed, just let me know. :)
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We talk a lot about being saved by grace, but don't always know how to articulate how God's grace sustains our lives. What kindness, favor, blessing, goodness, or spiritual benefit can you testify about today? Hit reply to the email with your reflection of grace.
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If you would like some help using Scripture to talk to the Father, check out my prayer guide, Consider. If you have or do find it helpful, inspiring, or encouraging, please share about it and/or leave a review to spread the word. I'd be so appreciative!
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In Case You Missed It!!
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Here is the link to this Psalm 119 study.
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A final note of encouragement:
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Romans 15:13: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
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If you need prayer, please send me a message, and I will be more than happy to intercede on your behalf.
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